Alexandra’s Reverie

Hump Day

Also known as Day 21 of my liquid fast. I'm taking some liberties there, because I'm also having some puree of soup and other things that wouldn't technically be part of a juice fast. Whatevs. At this point I just want a boiled potato. That would be heaven. I'm not that hungry – I'm still getting plenty of calories through my juice and stuff, but it's the COLD. I feel like a bucket of ice. I'm just craving deep down for something cooked. Something hot. With a little fresh spice and not even that much oil or fat. Just cooked veggies. Fresh fruit. A nice salad. Heaven.

But I'm going to try to stick with this a little longer, in any case. I was hoping to get to Day 28, but at this point I'm not trying to kill myself or push it too hard. 28 days would be fine, if I could take more time off of work, or if my husband wasn't on my schedule, on a militant cleaning spree. If I could kick back more, and just chill, it would definitely be easier. But this is 2020, and to be honest, I'm lucky I'm doing as well as I am.

So a round of juicing tomorrow for me – perhaps my last, we'll see. And take it from there. I might just take it through the weekend, who knows. It would be nice to have something besides juice for Thanksgiving. It would be really nice to have something cooked – like a sweet potato. Oh man, that would be the shit. I guess I could do that, too. I could start transitioning soon, so that by Thanksgiving Day I'm cooking myself a nice sweet potato, having a nice salad. A tiny plate of food, but food. That would be nice.

But I think sleep/rest is the biggest missing ingredient here, so I'll start with that. To bed early tonight, and try more juice tomorrow. See how I do. At least make it to the weekend. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. I'm not trying to overdo it. I'm trying to heal my body, and it's come leaps and bounds since I first started this 3 weeks ago. Back then, I was feeling it in my kidneys, gallbladder, spleen, my other organs. Everything around my mid section. It wasn't good. Fever, pain, extreme fatigue. You name it. And while I'm tired, detoxing, in a fog, emotionally projectile vomiting, and fantasizing about cooked food (torturing myself with Sopranos Youtube videos focused just on the food), I still have to take a step back and appreciate just how amazing my body is, to come back from that. To heal. I don't crave potato chips now, nor dairy, or meat. I crave vegetables, and fruit. I am grateful to have that reset, and I intend on keeping with it as long as I possibly can. I told God I would do what it takes to heal myself, and I meant it. That doesn't mean I'll be perfect, or do 28+ days of juice fasting if I can't do it in a kind way for myself, but I will not backslide like I did this summer. That, I will NOT do. Because I have to get serious, I have to get real about my health. If I ever want my adrenals, my thyroid, and my internal thermostat to ever work again, I HAVE to take care of myself. I just do. No alcohol, no caffeine, no dairy, no eggs, very little meat, and almost no processed foods. No sugar. That means no eating out, or very little. Again, I won't be perfect, but I'll be committed to my health. And that is something new. I haven't given myself as much of a chance before. This will be it. 2020 wasn't it. Well, it tried to be. 2021 will be it, for real. It has to be.

In the meantime, I pray to God for His guidance, His love, and his support in this cleanse and spiritual reset. I pray for health, and I will do what it takes to get it. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

Just Long Enough

To realize I'm not keeping to my promise to myself to write on this blog everyday. But while David Goggins wouldn't give me any excuses, I'm giving myself a few. Like how I'm already working my ass off at this cleansing stuff. It's quite draining.

Right now, I'm in the doldrums. The nadir of the experience – lifeless, listless, exhausted, with the bile flowing through me and projectile vomiting its way onto others, namely, my husband.

I feel so deprived. I'm in a funk. Just walking around Menards, looking at their food section like a visitor from another planet. Kind bars. Milk in jugs, by the gallon. Something orange that looks like orange juice, but which couldn't be further from the hand-squeezed glass I prepared for myself today. I remember eating this stuff. Some of it is close to food. Most of it not.

Then in our local co-op, that's where it gets hard. The specialty, pricey foods my husband is loading into the cart, one after another – the types of items I would have loved to have purchased, had I not had to manage both our needs month to month. Pay for all of our groceries, and then some.

Whatever my husband wants, though – he just gets. Takes it from the joint account, no problem. While I'm trying my best to be fair and pay for my special supplements and fancy diet items. Not him. He wants a $400 pair of boots – no problem, out the joint account it comes. His friend is heading to Colorado, and my husband wants $700 worth of weed products that last a few months? No problem, just take it from the joint account. And then wonder why I get upset. If I need/want something special, I fucking pay for it, out of my own account. If I couldn't afford it, I would talk to my husband about it first. Ask. But not him. He just does it, and expects me to deal with it.

He's changing, I know he is, but that's the kind of resentment and putrid bile that's pouring out of me like some ecological disaster of a river that's been destroyed by a factory pouring its toxic biohazard waste into for years and years. That's the kind of shit I've had stored in me for years, in little nooks and crannies. Cordoned off, stored up in tight little boxes like tidy tupperware in the fridge. Toxins in my fat. Anger in my gallbladder. Resentment in my spleen. Frustration in my gut. Exhaustion soaking up my adrenals and thyroid. Sadness weighing down my heart. And obsession needling my brain.

It's a shitty place to be, this Day 19 of my cleanse. It should get better sometime, but for now, it's the pits. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Just shitty. My being feels like toxic sludge, and nothing seems exciting, except my opportunity to now finally watch an episode of 'Better Call Saul.' It's like the one nourishing thing I can take in right now. Food will evade me for a while yet. At least 8, 9 more days. Thanksgiving won't be Thanksgiving, in the traditional sense. But the Thanks part I can still do.

And despite my shitty state, I am thankful. If that's all I can manage to think or say right now, Thank you, Jesus, for giving me another day, and for helping me through this journey to health and wholeness. Thank you for providing me with your love, and the resources I need to get well. Someday I will get there, but for now, I'm hanging onto faith. Thank you, God. Amen.

Friday the 13th

The rage is boiling in me. I can't stand to see him standing there, in constant prayer. To hear him breathing methodically next to me. To touch me on my back, gently grabbing my jacket like I'm on leash. I just want to flee.

I'm also annoyed, to be fair, at the stupid slow drivers, and the clueless people getting in my way. I'm annoyed looking at people eating delicious, hot, cooked food like its nothing, while I gulp down my next serving of cold juice on a cold day.

Maybe in another universe I'll be healthy enough to build muscle. To be a happy people person, and to actually go out and do stuff. To be happy to see people, and them happy to see me. To actually look and vibe health. To have it not be mistaken, but just glowing, pouring off of me.

I'm pissed. My gallbladder is pissed. I'm pissed that I have to go through another tour of crazy-town with my fuckin' husband. Because it does get easier, but it doesn't get less painful.

I'm pissed because I have to do all this fucking work, just to get to neutral, to zero. And it's still a long way up from there.

I'm pissed that my body can't stand anything less than 80 degrees Fahrenheit. I resent what a cold block of ice my body is, and how inept I am to live in my own climate.

I was craving coffee like a motherfucker this morning. I didn't cave in. I had my Dandyblend. I had my roasted dandelion tea. I had my juice, my water, my ginseng, and my other tea. I did not cave in. I did, just before leaving work, notice a pot of coffee brewed in the breakroom. I poured just a sip, which didn't taste as good as I had dreamt it would. That's good. It also wasn't great coffee. I'm spoiled by my Andodyne blends.

Tomorrow's a new day. Have a 3-day weekend ahead, which is good, because I need the extra rest badly. Today is Day 16 of the juice fast. Apart from dealing with my husband's physic break this week, just being short of sleep while cleansing is enough. It's just enough. My body is doing a lot of work, cleansing and fasting. That's a big job. I'm doing my best to support it, but it's not easy. Not when you're working. Not when you have to deal with your husband's slipping grip of reality.

Of course, that's the rub – I don't know who has more of a grip on reality, him or me. I could be the one missing out. That would piss me off, too. But I imagine the true reality is somewhere between us. Neither of us has it 100% correct. But we can help correct each other, pull each other back from our own precipices, back to our core selves. That's the best thing about us as a couple, as a marriage, and as a spiritual union: we balance each other out. So I'm trying to ride this wave – my own irritable wave, my destressing, my detoxing, my cranky, hangry, tired state – and whateverthefuckthisis that my husband is going through. If I can make it through, it will be better on the other side, I know.

I just have to have faith. Just get through it. Ride the wave. Don't curse out your husband. Don't drink the caffeinated coffee. Don't space out and eat something absent-mindedly. And don't try to solve problems that aren't yours to solve. Give it to God, and mean it. Leave it to God. Don't get your sticky fingers back in there and meddle with it. Just surrender, for real. Just let it go. Let it go. Let. It. Go.

Thank you Jesus. Amen.

Rough Day

Today my husband freaked me out. Again. He's good at that. Right smack in the middle of my work day. My safe space. My happy place, when my life is falling apart.

This, on the same day I'm remembering my boss who passed two years ago. Remembering, but not publicly. Last year was the year for public mourning. I feel like last year no one gave a shit, but me and a few others. I even felt shunned, or just given the awkward silent treatment, for remembering him. Making it known. And yeah, some people – or one person – had something against him. So the plaque and the studio they dedicated to him is no gone. A kick in the balls. So no way I'm going to mourn publicly this year.

It feels like everything I do to honor others, or play by the code, protect the intel under interrogation and even torture, just goes no where. People don't repay you in kind. People don't even remember that shit, nevermind honor you back for it, or thank you for it. Even acknowledge it. It's like I live by an honor code sometimes that no one else lives by. Very few, anyway. The few who do, I don't do a service to, because I'm a cunt in my own way. But I can't tell you now how many times I've taken one for the team, or taken the hits, kept my mouth fuckin' shut, not ratting out my comrades – only to have them desert me or leave me to the fucking wolves in a heartbeat. Desert me with no cover as the enemy comes charging, in droves. Turn me over to the enemy. Reveal the info, or my secrets. All that hard-won, painstaking progress, just handed over to the evil side because of weak, honorless motherfuckers. I'm so burnt out on it, I'm so sick of it.

And now my husband, and the world seems to be telling me something: stop expecting people to repay you in kind. If you do something for someone, don't do it with any expectation that they will repay you in kind, or do anything short of spit at you in the face as a fuck-you, rather than thank you. You can't save anyone, but yourself. Help others, but don't try to save a fucking soul, because what they do with their lives is up to them. They won't save your soul, if it was up to them, anyway. Don't count on anyone to save you. You have to save yourself. And you're not in charge of saving anyone else. Leave that to God. It's not your fucking problem.

So while I thought I had fully integrated that message by now, turns out I haven't, so here we are – another reminder. Thanks God. It's like I'm clutching onto something in my hand (something that could hurt me) with a death grip, and He's slamming it against a countertop, trying to get me to release it. He tried kinder measures, but they didn't work. So now, he's using brute force – drop that fucking knife drop it drop it drop it let it fucking go Alex, let it go let it go. If I didn't drop it by now, I'm at least loosening my grip, that's for sure. I sure appreciate the lesson. It's the kindest thing about this day. Oh, that, and the security guy in my building asking me if I was married, and if I weren't he would take me out to dinner. That was how my day started: unexpectedly warm and charming. Then it went downhill real fast.

So you never know what I day is going to throw you. You can show up to work, feeling like shit, and someone thinks your pretty. You can feel like things are going fine, and they fall apart. You can show up to work and find out that your boss has been taken to the hospital, and you've already seen him for the last time. You can have your mourning be interrupted by odd facts coming out post-mortem, making you feel tainted and guilty somehow by association. You can think your body is healing, only to have another bump in the road, another layer of emotional grime to scrub away before it gets a little clearer, a little cleaner.

All I can say is the day is coming to an end, and all through it, I had God and angels on my side. That's something I'm so grateful for, just knowing that they are with me. Because I can't handle this shit on my own anymore. Not to mention the pandemic and the world going to hell. But my own life, my own day. I need angels to get me through my OWN day, hour by hour. Thank you God and angels for having my back when no one on this earth did. Thank you. Amen. There may be no honor among men, but at least it can be found in the heavenly realm.

Nov. 12, I'm done with you already. Goodnight.

Blackout Night

Short one today – I've been behind, but that's because I'm fasting, and yesterday, the power went out.

I was literally just sitting down to write when a powerful storm came through – pitch-black clouds and huge winds blowing in like an angry god, whipping trashbins down the alley and knocking over houseplants from their perches. Rain dropped like a huge bucket had been tipped over, and wind blowing the rain sideways. The rain hitting our windows like angry bullets, trying to get in. Like angry locusts, trying to get in, or fly through.

The nice thing about that kind of weather is that once the storm passed (it moved very fast) it was just dark, and quiet. Just a few battery-operated lights in the house, and besides that, nothing. No sound, no lights – not even in the alleyways, no ugly yellow light to draw my shade against. No annoying fans blowing or other white noise my husband likes. Just peace and quiet.

I could still take a shower though – thank goodness for that, because I needed one. Plus, it was nice to freshen up for that other activity that's great for a blackout night: sex.

The nice thing about being too sick or tired to have sex in...say...two weeks or more, is that when it finally happens, it's REALLY good. Even without the foreplay, just grabbin' the lube and getting right into it, it's amazing. Every touch down there feels so delicious, like it's been starved for months. When I'm ready to come, it just comes to a huge roiling boil, like a monster wave crashing over a beach, taking out houses in its wake. And it keeps coming, again and again. I finally have to say to my husband, that he can stop if he wants, because I'll just keep coming, and he'll eventually need some coconut water or electrolytes or something.

So we wrap up, wash up, and after brushing my teeth in the fake candlelight, it's not even 7 o'clock yet, but I'm ready for bed. And I fall asleep very quickly and very soundly.

And that is not a bad way to spend a blackout night. No sir, not at all.

Juice, Juice, Juice

Ok. Two things happened yesterday:

1. Joe Biden was officially declared president.

2. It took me about 5 frickin' hours to juice. On a beautiful day. I was in the kitchen all day. The sun went down as I wrapped up.

So number 2 isn't happening again today. Thank God we have another beautiful day in store, so today I am NOT going to be stuck in the kitchen all day. But it worked out – we have a new roommate who moved in, and my other roommate was out, so the kitchen was free. It was the time to do it. I'm just not doing it like that anymore F that.

Okay, and then the other thing – Joe Biden was elected president. Kamala Harris, vice president. Those are historical and all, so I don't have to tell you about them. But I do have to say I felt a little relief. Not a huge relief – it's either not going to make that much difference, or I just don't trust it yet. I think it's the later – I just don't trust it yet. It's like you've been fooled too many times – had your hopes dashed so often (Barack Obama being the biggest one) that you don't really trust yourself to hope so much anymore. I don't put all my eggs in that basket – or even more than one or two, anyway.

How much will Biden be able to accomplish, considering how much he has going against him? And how different are his aspirations, other than how it appears on the surface? I just don't know.

Like many Americans, however (if not the world), I am just relieved to have this election – at least this phase of it – OVER. Amen. And it WILL be a relief to get a break from Trump running his fuckin' mouth all the time. When you have the loudest bullhorn in the nation, perhaps world, and you have the personality of a narcissistic toddler, then all you're going to hear day-in-and-out is that little baby crying in the next room, wanting his milk, or needing his diaper to be changed, or wanting to start a nuclear war with North Korea. It's just exhausting. Pandemic and economic collapse aside, I think we all feel like new Moms after these past four years, exhausted and desperate for a day off, and a moment of sanity. Now it looks like we might just get it.

Not that he's going to go quietly, or easily. Of course not. He'll go kicking and screaming, just like a four-year-old who's misbehaving in a restaurant. But at least there will be a day when his voice will no longer be the official voice of of our nation. He will not be given the power he has today. There will at least be a CHANGE.

And of course worse be yet to come – I don't doubt that possibility at this point. Trump and his militiamen might have something brewing for years to come – he could be the next Caesar, with his “love for the people”. I certainly don't put my trust into politicians or anyone in a position of leadership to save me, or us. That has less and less to do with me. If there's anything good that's come out of this whole ordeal, that's it – it's broken me of my ideals and faith in the shadow leadership of this world. The only true leader is God, and I thank Him for showing me this, despite all the heartbreak and pain it's taken to get here.

So yeay for Biden and Harris. It's nice. But it's not going to change the world, or the country. That's up to us – each one of us. I pray for guidance in how to do my part. Thank you Jesus. Amen.

Few Days Later

Ok, missed a few days there. I'm doing this juice fast that has me wiped at the end of the day, and I've been pretty busy with chores and stuff right after work – cars, bank runs, grocery shopping, etc. Nothing too huge, but every effort takes it out of you when you're fasting. No excuse, though – I just need to get to my stuff earlier in the day.

There's a lot to do when you fast – the shopping, the cleaning of the fruits and veggies, the juicing, the cleanup. Just for enough juice to get you through a few days. It's a big operation, and not cheap. But it's my health. It's medicine. Every time I check out and see the bill, I tell myself – and it's true – this is my medicine. Rather than some prescription I'd have to pay for out-of-pocket, or something over the counter, or a supplement, or worse yet, some exorbitant medical bill, I'm spending that money on fruits, vegetables and herbs. And, when I'm busy during the week, fresh juices from the few places in down that do them. It's expensive, yes, but I could easily spend that money (or more) on booze, partying, eating out, etc. Stuff that once in a while is okay, but which has been way too common for me my adult life. All that money invested in my addictions, and some, but far too little, in my health. Or, toggling back-and-forth from health to addiction, back and forth.

You can't have it both ways.

Such a common phrase – and a true one – but I needed to hear it all the same. Because that's exactly what I've tried to do my whole adult life: have it both ways. Sure, things in moderation can work really well for some people – they have their cake and eat it, too. They party on the weekend and work hard, working out during the week. Fit, sexy, affluent people have a great hardcore workout then go out for a drink afterwards. There are people who can live like that. They earn their rewards – they don't cut out the good stuff, they just make themselves earn it. Well, I tried to live like that – it seemed like a healthy, enjoyable place to be – but it isn't working for me. At least not this life, or ever. Because I have a big hole I'm trying to climb out of – a huge health hole that I've been in my entire life. I don't want to be in it for the rest of my life. Plenty of stories of folks turning their lives around at 40 – I've been trying to, really, but never had the right approach. I think the biggest thing has been that I just haven't been willing to admit that I want it both ways. I want my cake and to eat it, too, but you can't compromise with your health – not physical, mental, or emotional.

I simply haven't been willing to give my health 100%. I have had spurts – sprints of effort that took all my being to complete, but never had the immediate return that it would have required to keep me going at such a pace. And it is ridiculous to expect an immediate return when you're dealing with such a backlog of issues. Even the last time I did a long juice fast (overall for 28 days, but the juice alone for 21 days) I came off of it a little too fast and I fairly quickly went back to some old habits, which landed me back in bed with multiple infections and praying to God to please help me, I'll do whatever it takes. Now food is the answer – in part, at least – I have to give up lots of things, especially on the food/drink part. Not just while fasting, but in the long term. This time I'll be much more conscientious coming out of my fast. I won't let myself fall back into my old habits, I will keep the momentum going strong in the positive direction, so I don't backslide. A continual cleanse, more-or-less, just in different degrees of intensity. After a while, having smoothies will be a real treat. Eating solid food will be a treat – raw food, all the same. I need to kick these food addictions NOW or I am fucked for life. I need this just as badly as an alcoholic needs his first 30 days sober. After this it will get easier, but I have to stick with it, day by day, day by day. One day at a time. Another true saying – just take it one day at a time.

The still undecided election (leaning heavily towards Biden) is much less of a deal when you work through your own demons – that's the upside. Plus, a glass of freshly-squeezed orange juice never tasted so damn good in your life. A glass of heaven's nectar. How lucky am I. A glass of power-up, like a character in a video game – it charges me up, gives me life. Another few hours of life to go about my day.

Ok, that's all for now. Just a little catch-up there. Time to go about my day. It's going to be another beautiful one – into the low-70's! I'll take this early-November weather ANY year. Thank you Jesus. Amen.

Nov. 4th

As far as I know, it's still a toss-up, but it's leaning towards Biden. At least, Biden won Wisconsin, but just barely – by one percent, 50/49. It will probably be a few more days before we know for sure, with all these absentee ballots to count and whatnot. But whatevs.

I'm just happy to be almost done with stuff for the day. Got up at 2:30 this morning. No caffeine. No food. Just juice, herbal tea, and adrenaline from some crazy stuff this morning to keep me going. What a weird morning. You keep thinking you're missing something, but nothing has changed. And then something DOES change, and you want to make sure you get it right. Yeesh, it's exhausting. A lot of checking and double-checking, that's for sure.

I think I have time for a quick episode of something funny, something light. Just want to let my brain and body meld into the floor for a few minutes. Though I could crash out right now, truly. And maybe I should. I just like to get that proper “me” time in at the end of a hectic day.

Man, I'm not even going to write more than this right now, because I'm spent.

So that's that. Tomorrow's another day. We'll see what Biden and Trump are up to tomorrow. It will be another day, so I'm in no hurry to get there.

Keep your loved ones close – and your furry creatures even closer.

Amen. Love your brother. Take care. Peace. Love.

Election Day

Woo hoo. The day is finally here! Went off without a hitch so far, for me, anyway: easy work, head to the polls on a beautiful day, jump to the head of the line (thankfully) because I'm registered, get my ballot, and vote. Then go about my day. There was an ambulance picking up someone from across the street this afternoon, though, so not good for everyone, obviously. Not sure who it was, but they were being loaded up in a stretcher so it couldn't have been good. My prayers go out to that man/woman/family.

So the day isn't over yet, obviously, and the election is certainly FAR from over, but at least this day is almost over. I am happy about THAT. Thank GOD. I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. It's just been too much, all of it.

Moving forward, I'm just going to try to keep the same clear, cool head I've had about it today. Of course, it might get much harder in the days to come, as the results are coming out, or even in the process of coming out. Still, I can try, because after all, how much difference does it really make who wins? It could be huge, or it could be nothing at all.

For tonight, my aim is just to get a good night's sleep, and to wake up ready for work, because tomorrow is going to be a shit-show. Or it could be. I work in media, so it gets a little hairy on days like this: you know, historical presidential elections. I remember driving to work the morning after the election in 2016, listening to the BBC World Service, and that's how I found out that Donald Trump had won. I was just in shock. Like much of the nation, I was just in shock. I wanted to change the station, as if another station would have different news to report. But no such luck. It was the truth, and it has been the truth for 4 long years.

So whatever the next day, or week, or weeks hold for us; whether the results will be clear or not, if there is unrest or not, if Biden wins or Trump wins – we know we can handle it. At least, I know I can handle it. The stress of worrying is almost worse than it's really worth – I feel like whatever happens up top there will affect me of course, but it's not nearly as important as it seems. It's not as different from one candidate to the other as it seems. Sure, I voted, and I chose a candidate, but will it make a difference? I dunno. Don't really think so. It's a broken system, and it's hard to get too worked up about it anymore, in any regard. What's the point?

I'd rather do my best for my fellow men and women on this earth, no matter what their vote or stance, and worry about my inner path first. That part I can control. The rest, not so much.

Ready for bed soon – a blissful ignorance of what's happening in the polls. Sleep, then chaos in the morning. But chaos that I can handle if I'm well-rested and content. :)

Amen. God bless the people of this country, and the world. May we find peace and love in our hearts tonight, and compassion for our fellow men/women.

Goodnight.

Election Day Eve

This one will be a little short, because today I'm running late. I'm getting over a gallbladder/urinary/kidney/yeast/whatever infection. Plus, tomorrow is Nov. 3rd. Nov. 3rd of 2020. WOO. The big day. It should be Halloween, but that just passed.

No, Nov. 3rd is on a Tuesday, and of course all hell is going to break loose. Or at least it is supposed to. I hope not, but you never know.

Today I'm just working my way through my own private stresses, fears, and joys – the ups and downs of a day. Luckily, the bigger operation isn't affecting me too much yet. That of course will change tomorrow, but that's, well, tomorrow. It could be a month, though. This thing could just take all f-ing year, and longer, to sort out. We could NEVER be normal again. If we were normal to begin with.

Yeah, the main objective for me is to keep my brain working when it feels like it's being soaked in engine oil. My thoughts struggle to bubble to the top, and when they do, it's a major success. When they don't, they sink to the bottom, never to rise again. I'll never salvage those thoughts. I'll never know what dead, or stillborn thoughts lie at the depths of that heavy, black muck.

And to keep my body strong enough, and light enough, to feel like a human body. To not feel all the energy sap out by walking up the flight of stairs to my bedroom, or scrubbing a tough stain on a dish.

And to keep my emotions and spirit properly aligned, so as not to lose my center, my balance. Or forget what it's all about. That's all.

So a short-er entry for today, Nov. 2nd. Tomorrow, Election Day, Nov. 3rd, is the big f-ing deal. The Y2K for the younger side of the millennials, and whatever generation comes after them. Too young to know or care about the 2000 “everything is going to shut down” scare. But whatevs.

Tonight, though, I'm not really concerned about the election much. I'm too concerned on how I feel like I'm going to fall asleep while writing this, sitting up. And besides, I'm just happy that THIS stage of the circus is finally leaving town. Those elephants leave giant turds.

Thankful for my health, for God, and for my hubby this evening. May all you out there have some creature comforts surrounding you as well, on this Election Day Eve.

Amen.