Happy Halloween, 2020
So some cool things about Halloween in the year of 2020: it's on a Saturday. There's a blue AND full moon. The weather was fairly warm, for Wisconsin: during the day, in the low-50's, with sun. Overnight, I don't know. To put it in perspective, this time last year we were getting dumped on with tons of snow. So, yeah. Good luck this time around.
The not so good things: well, it's 2020, for one thing. Not much going on, due to the pandemic and all. Apart from some clandestine parties people are throwing in their homes, or on the sly. It's funny, now even regular, law-abiding folks know what it feels like have a rave experience, deep in the woods, dodging the law. Except regular folk are cooking turkey and making cocktails and hugging loved ones, while ravers are still loving one another, but it's definitely a different kind of experience. Just a little bit.
Not that I got to celebrate Halloween, apart from handing some kids some candy in front of the house while a new roommate moved in. I'm recovering from a nice medley of infections, including yeast, gallbladder, kidney infection or stones, and probably a bout of pancreatitis, thrown in for good measure.
But I am recovering, which I'm so thankful for – just to get out of bed is amazing. My whole middle section isn't aching so much any more. I got the wakeup call I needed – I can't fuck around with my health anymore. I'm not a healthy 20-year-old. Shit, I never WAS a healthy 20-year-old. Or 17-year-old, or any of those ages that most people want to return to in their lives. Not me. I mean, there were definitely some things I would do differently this time around, but for all the ways I fucked myself over with bad choices since that time, I wouldn't go back and go through that stuff again. Not in this lifetime, no Sir.
So, I'm grateful to be on just waking up from that rock bottom experience – I mean, it's been worse, and it could certainly get even more intense, but I'm happy with this level of wakeup. At this point, I should have never needed it to come to this in the first place, but since it did, well, here I am, and I'm just grateful to be coming out of the other side of it – especially without a trip to the ER or worse. I don't want to put myself in a stupid situation where I am forced to have an organ removed – especially if its unnecessary. Fuck THAT. I'm going to keep my gallbladder, and spleen, and thyroid, thank you very much. What I DO need to do, is take better care of them all. Show them the love they deserve. And that begins today.
Not to say I won't fuck up here and there again – I'm bound to, my old habits are too ingrained, and I'm still human. It takes a while to get a train to slow to a stop and turn around in the opposite direction. But my fuckups won't be as egregious, as I just won't let myself get away with the stupid shit I've been doing most of the time.
In any case, this Halloween brought a real scare: take care of your health or face the consequences. Take care of your health, and your life will be as amazing as you want it too be.
That's a trick, and a treat, all in one.
Thank God for another day – and for my health. Amen.