Green Snot and Ham
Green snot. That's what I was blowing out of my nose the other day. In my dream. Into a tissue. I saw it, and winched a little – part repulsed, part fascinated, and part frustrated. Oh no. Not this again.
You see, green snot was the color I was blowing out of my nose when I got COVID for the first time. This was back in February, 2020, before it was officially a thing in the U.S. At least, not in my state.
I hadn't remembered having green snot in a REALLY long time before that. I looked up what it meant, and basically, it meant that your body and immune system are working like hell to fight off something.
And I guess they were.
But like I said, THIS was a dream. In that dream, I was sitting next to a woman who was some kind of mentor or authority figure, someone I knew well, and respected, looked up to. She was nodding at me and saying, “You know what it is, Rachel,” or something like that. Like I was playing dumb but really knew what was going on – I couldn't fool her. I woke up after that, and felt out of it the whole day. And pretty well strange the next day, too. I think that brings us to today.
Today I don't feel 100%, it's true. My body IS fighting something, it's true. But then again, it always is. So my dream, and my subconscious, were right. I'm just not sure exactly what the angle was this time. Should I be doing more for my body – is that the idea?
I kinda met it half-way: I did the Wim Hof breathing exercises, but had coffee. I did some yoga, but had a mocha and some cookies. I drank lots of water and herbal tea, went to church, and sat in the sauna for an hour at 140 degrees. Drank a shitton more water. Ate a salad for dinner, but had some cheese in there (something I know I should avoid, especially as it makes me break out). Also, had a glass and a half of wine, breaking out the Bota Box. Now I'll feel the need to finish it, if that hottub party on Saturday doesn't drain it for me.
So I did listen to my body, but I also listened to my wants and desires. Not sure if that was wise. However, the biggest measure of health for me on a day like today is the fact that I'm fairly light of spirit, and not stressing out about my choices – I'm just making them and dealing with it. I'm evening getting to my writing today – the very last thing before bed – so I'm KILLING IT.
I did listen to my body, and my subconscious, but I am feeling out of sorts. I also feel ok. I also have some burning in my chest I don't want to acknowledge. But I'm feeling okay. No green snot yet. The ham may come, yet.